Between the Bars
by messington
Summary: If someone leaves you, can you just replace them with someone else? Rangiku finds out the hard way when she comes across an equally distraught Shuuhei. ShuuRan, mentions of GinRan. Epilogue added.
1. Where Damage Isn't Already Done

typical disclaimer : I don't own Bleach. If I did, I'd have a lot more money. sigh

Between the Bars  
Chapter 1 - Where Damage Isn't Already Done

When Rangiku woke up, she cursed herself for not closing the drapes in her room. Without them, the morning light would shine in just after the sun rise. Although notorious for being able to sleep in any condition, her body always reacted to the bright light. The drapes normally kept that from happening. That was if she remembered to close them.

Despite the lack of excessive drinking, her groggy half-awake mind still took awhile to process everything. She never was a good morning person. First, she felt the weight of an arm slung over her waist. She took a deep breath and immediately recognized the foreign scent in the room. She couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was, but she knew whom it belonged to. Softly removing the arm from around her, she then turned over slowly. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him. As she looked at him, still very much asleep despite the sun shining on his face, she couldn't help but smile. He was lying on his stomach, one side of his head buried in a pillow, and that conspicuous tattoo on his left cheek almost hidden by hair that was even messier than usual. It made her happy to see that he was getting some more much-needed sleep.

* * *

Her return to the Soul Society was bittersweet. While it did feel good to be back somewhere more familiar, it pained her that Orihime had gone missing. Yamamoto soutaichou wanted to say that she had defected to the other side, but after staying with the young girl, such an idea seemed against everything she knew about her. She wanted to yell at the old man, but thankfully for her, Ichigo did the yelling.

Although her captain seemed upset by Orihime's capture, he insisted that they return to work. She may of hated the mounds of paperwork left from their absence. Some of it belonged to the 5th division, but it was good to just focus on that instead. She'd also never admit it, but she wanted to stay around her captain even more so than usual. At least then she could also avoid the other absence that left a much larger hole in her life.

He left, she told herself. It's something he's been doing as long as you've known him. You should be used to it.

"Hitsugaya-taicho." The voice asking for entry snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Come in," the young captain replied, not even looking up from his work.

She looked over to the door to see the 9th division vice-captain come in with an arm full of papers. It almost felt odd to think that it was Shuuhei. Of course, the three vertical scars across the right side of his face and the tattoo on the other made it impossible to mistake anyone else for him, but something about him looked so different. His posture seemed uncharacteristically slouched; his shoulders slumped, which carried the rest of his body down. His sharp eyes looked like they were struggling to stay open. The angles of his face also seemed much more apparent.

"Hitsugaya-taicho, the central command has been delivering your communication bulletins to me while you were away. Where do you want them?"

"Here should be fine," he said, pointing at the only empty space on the right side of his desk. "Is that all you need, Hisagi?" he asked as Shuuhei was slowly placing the papers on the desk.

"I was on the way to my division's training grounds, and I just wanted to make sure you got those," he replied, turning to leave.

"If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

"Thank you, Hitsugaya-taicho," Shuuhei said standing in the doorway turning to face the boy captain.

There was silence in the room for a few moments as Shuuhei walked away. Rangiku only looked at her captain, who had gone back to the paperwork.

"He really looked...horrible," she said softly.

"Well, that's what happens when you take on all your division's needs on your own," he dismissed. "Kira has both his third on fourth seats helping, Kuchiki is doing the same with his division while Abarai has not so mysteriously disappeared, and we're helping Hinamori now. Hisagi is the only one that hasn't asked for any real help. It was brought up at the captain's meeting, and Ukitake only said he'd asked him a few questions about the communication bulletins and ordering supplies. Other than that he's doing all the paperwork as well as leading training for his division."

"He seemed to be handling this the best when we left," she said. "I wonder why he's not asked for help."

"It's probably because he doesn't want any pity. I can understand that. Now can we stop trying to gossip and just get back to work?"

Reluctant to keep working, she kept her glance on the door. Although she didn't really know Shuuhei as well as Kira or Renji, of the three whose captains had left, he was the one she figured would take the situation in stride. One thing she knew for sure about him was out of the Vice Captains, he was probably the most level-headed. The kanji in his first name spelled it all out: disciplined solider. She had never seen him loose his temper. She has seen him out of his mind drunk, maybe a little ticked off, but never very ill-tempered. It was something that she always admired. She admired anyone like that because she always wondered how people could not let a bad day affect them. It was that grounded nature, however that was getting him into trouble. It seemed to turn from being grounded and responsible to almost being in denial that anything was wrong.

* * *

It shouldn't have been a shock when he collapsed just as he was leaving after a conversation with her and Kira. Then again, who is prepared to watch someone talk one minute then collapse to the floor the next? She helped Kira scoop him up off the ground and take him to the 4th division. He had been working himself harder and harder as the weeks passed; not that he had any concept of time anymore. It was only a matter of time until his body would just give out and demand the rest that it so desperately needed.

After regaining consciousness, it became very obvious how weak he had become when Unohana came in and was able to use shinten to put him out again. In light of his recent stubborn streak, it was the only way to get him back to sleep. While the shinten did the initial work, he was also given a much stronger tranquilizer for when his body would begin to regain strength. The strength and dose were large enough to keep him out for three days. In those three days, Kira, Rangiku, and Hinamori would check in on him periodically. It felt strange for Rangiku. She didn't know him as well as Kira or even Hinamori, who she learned had a much closer friendship with Shuuhei than she or almost anyone knew. It did make sense. Had Hinamori not run back to help him with the huge hollow, he would have died along side his other classmates. She, on the other hand, was not much more than a drinking buddy, but since she was there when he did collapse, she felt a strange obligation to make sure he was okay.

Naturally, he'd wake up when she was the only one in the room.

"Shit," he groaned, rubbing his face with one hand. It felt like he had been run over by a stampede. His body felt so heavy, it was a struggle to sit up. He had yet to notice who else was in the room with him until she took a few steps over and tried to help him sit up. "Rangiku-san," he said, his cheeks turning red. Of all the people who had to be there when he got up, she was the last one he wanted to be there. Then again, it couldn't really get much worse. He already passed out in front of her.

"Hi." There wasn't really anything else she could think to say aside from ask how he was doing, but seemed a bit too obvious and even a bit cruel. Of course he wasn't doing well.

"Hi," he said softly. Covering his eyes with his hand, he let out a deep breath and sat in silence for a few minutes. "I feel so stupid. I was working so hard to make sure we didn't fall behind, and look what I do to myself. It's only making it worse," he blurted out, too frustrated to keep it in any longer.

"If you're worried about your paperwork, Komamura-taicho is doing all of the urgent captain work and your division is pitching in on everything else."

"It's not just that," he replied, looking straight ahead. "I just... I hate this," he finished softly.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't even know how to address her own loss, so how could she say anything to him? Neither of them were directly facing their feelings. She had gone to the material world, and he had buried himself in work for the sake of his division. She just stood there in silence as he moved to sit up a little better, still staring straight ahead. "I'm sorry, this is awkward," he said glancing over at her. "But thank you, for being here."

"Kira and Momo have been taking turns staying here as well. Momo thought you'd like it if there was someone here when you woke up, so if there's anyone you should thank, it should be her."

She sat back down in the chair by the bed, and neither of them could think of something to say to the other. While the silence wasn't exactly welcome, it didn't feel wholly awkward either. He had a lot to think about, so it was nice to have someone there that didn't try to lecture him or ask him a million questions. He also didn't feel comfortable enough to talk with her about the things he had on his mind.

"Ah, Hisagi-kun, you're awake," a surprised Hinamori said walking into the room. "It was so quiet, I didn't think you'd be up," she teased, trying to keep the mood up.

"I'm still tired, that's all," he replied softly.

"Of course," Hinamori replied with a gentle smile.

"Since you're here, Momo, I'll be going. Too many people in the room can be overwhelming," Rangiku said getting up. Hinamori would be better in this situation. She knew him well. "Goodbye, Shuuhei," she said before leaving.

"Did anything special happen before I came?" she asked cracking a smile. She knew that any other time, mentioning his crush on the curvaceous vice-captain would get a rise out of him, but he was almost too lost in thought and tired to bother.

"No, nothing like that."

Hinamori looked at her friend and could see that he wasn't in the mood to pretend to be okay anymore.

"You know what, I think I'll go and find you something to eat. Unohana-taicho said part of the reason you were so exhausted was because you were malnourished. I bet you've only been eating rice. I'll be back," she smiled. "Ok, Hisagi-kun?"

"Yes, thank you, HInamori."

He felt immensely guilty. She was still recovering from not only her injury but the psychological wounds that Aizen had imposed, and she was there taking care of him. He wanted so bad to just get up, walk out the room, and get his own damn food, but sitting up was a tall order for him minutes ago. He wasn't so stupid to think that he'd be able to walk. This was worse than being stuck in bed because he'd been injured in a fight. He really hated this.

* * *

It had taken almost a week for him to start feeling normal again. He was slowly noticing that the weight he lost from a diet of a twice-daily bowl rice was coming back after several days of eating everything in sight. Training was still out of the question. Exhaustion, he learned, was a quite serious illness. Unohana-taicho sternly told him it would be almost a month before he would be at his full power. With her ultra-polite yet oddly intimidating tone, he dare not disobey her. Naturally, that didn't make him happy. He'd been making progress in achieving bankai and month would have made a huge difference.

There was also a lot more free time now that the 7th division was helping him with his work. While it felt nice to be able to relax and have a largely open schedule, he also felt bored out of his mind at times as well. The remaining captains and vice captains were working a bit more than usual.

Tired of being alone, he decided to take a walk around the Seireitai. There were enough people walking about for him not to feel totally isolated, but not so many that he'd feel overly distracted either. He wanted to take a walk out in the woods, but he was afraid of being left with just his thoughts.

When he walked past a popular bakery, he thought he had saw a familiar silhouette, but he just kept walking instead of trying to see just who it was. It wasn't until he'd gone past three more shops that he heard something that made him stop in his tracks.

"Shuuhei!"

The voice was familiar, so he turned to see the one and only Rangiku Matsumoto carrying a rather large bag of anpan. "What brings you out here?" she asked as she caught up with him.

"Nothing really. I just wanted to take a walk," he replied.

"Would you mind if I walked with you?"

"Sure, if you can walk and carry that at the same time," he said motioning to the bag of sweet-bean stuffed bread she was carrying.

"This is nothing, but you can have one if you want to lighten the load," she said holding it out to him. He just smiled and grabbed one. "I can't stop eating these things since I had some with Orihime-chan. Aren't they amazing?" His mouth full, Shuuhei could only nod. Knowing what he did know about her, that bag would be empty in two days tops. He always liked that about her. Unlike many female shinigami, she never tried to hide the fact that she'd eat a large bag of sweets in a day. They continued walking through the Seireitai and talked about various things like food in the material world to where to get the best sake until they reached the edge of the western gate. "I know this really pretty place on the outskirts of the first district over here, do you want to go?"

She just wants to keep you company, so don't get carried away. She's being nice to you because she feels sorry for you, that's probably all, he mentally scolded himself. Now over his exhaustion, his other usual desires came back as well, so he had to make sure not to get his emotions all worked up over something so simple.

"Sure, if it's not that far."

He followed just behind her. Going through the first district of the Rukongai was never very pleasurable for him. It wasn't that it was a bad place. It was actually the opposite. He'd watch children play in the street so carefree and feel jealous. That in turn made him feel guilty for wishing those kids had the same rough childhood he had. Before he could think any further, they had reached a clearing through a small patch of trees that overlooked a small pond. She went ahead and sat down. After he paused a moment to admire the view, he took a seat next to her.

"It's good that you want to get out, because you did coop yourself up in that office," she said after they both took another anpan roll. He sighed.

"How would you know? Weren't you in the material world?"

"Shuuhei, everybody knew," she said matter-of-factly. "Plus when you stopped in to drop off those papers, it was pretty obvious."

"I guess the only person I was fooling was myself," he said picking at the confection.

"You should really stop being so hard on yourself."

"I know, there's nothing that I could have done to stop him from leaving, but it's not just that. It's not just being abandoned; it's being betrayed. I'm not the only one, it's the whole squad that he let down. I just didn't want them to feel as bad as I did, because I knew that none of us did anything to make him go."

She took a good look at him while he was pensively staring at the red-bean filling of the bun. Despite all the current angst he'd been displaying, he had been putting himself last. The time he had to sleep or eat was given to the men and women under his command so they didn't feel the pain that he was feeling. Everyone had their own theories as to why he was working himself so hard. The most popular, of course, being that he just needed to keep busy. While that certainly had to be part of it, it wasn't the entire reason either. Then there was her captain, who thought that he was too proud ask for help. She may not have known him that well, but she did know that he wasn't excessively proud. What he had really trying to do was try to take all the burden on himself. It was actually much like his captain, who had previously done all the squad's paperwork. He was trying take Tousen's place, but the combination of work from both a captain and vice-captain was much more than he had ever thought. Still, he didn't say a word. Now with all that work gone, he'd failed in his eyes. Now, added to the heart-brake of betrayal and abandonment was the sting of failure.

Before either could say another word, they felt a familiar reiatsu behind them.

"Ah, taicho!" Matsumoto said in an all-too-sweet tone.

"You said you'd only be a minute. We've got stacks of papers sitting in the office and training later today," the boy said with his usual annoyed expression.

"I guess I forgot how long I was gone," she smiled.

"Matsumoto!"

"Sorry," she said getting up to move towards her taicho. "Sorry, Shuuhei, but if you want to talk some more, don't be afraid to come by." Hitsugaya shot her yet another look of death. "When I'm not busy," she corrected herself.

"Sure, thanks for listening, Rangiku-san."

With that, the two flashed-stepped out of there. Shuuhei would have followed suit, but he wasn't quite sure his body was up it just yet. He just slowly got up and began his walk back through the first Rukongai and all those annoyingly happy kids.

* * *

Shinten was the medication that Hanatarou used to knock out one of the guards before he and Ganju went to get Rukia. He commented that it only works on weaker people, so it's a statement on just how physically drained he was.  
Anpan is a Japanese baked good that involves a bun stuffed with sweet bean paste. I'd assume Orhime would like them and get Rangiku, who will eat anything, to like them. They're really a treat for all Japanese. 

I had to write some ShuuRan because there's so little of it, and most are one-shots. I know there's a GinRan army out there, but I want to do something different but somewhat plausible. Both the fic and chapter title are from songs. I'm honestly not very poetic, so I tend to rely on songs for that little help. The fic is named after an Elliott Smith song and the chapter title is from a Radio Dept. song.

Please review, I love getting reviews. Chapter 2 is hopefully coming soon. It's sitting on my laptop about half done.


	2. One Evening

I don't own Bleach. If I did, there'd be a lot more Shuuhei panel time.

**Between the Bars  
Chapter 2 - One Evening**

He was almost alone in the 10th division office doing his paperwork. The only other person in the room was a sleeping Matsumoto, who was in the middle of a serious nap. About to go to work in his own office just hours before, he ran into Hinamori, who insisted that she join him at the 10th division office instead of being alone in his own. Not more than half an hour into his work both Hinamori and Hitsugaya left on separate errands. Now he was sitting in an unfamiliar office with a sleeping woman on the couch.

He'd glance over at her every few minutes to see if she even looked like she'd be waking up, but he got nothing. She slept like a rock, which was good for him. With less work to do, he found himself procrastinating more and more as of late. He really needed to get through the incident reports that were already handed in late. The only thing that wasn't good for him was that she was sleeping on her side, and he hoped that she could stay inside her revealing kimono top. The last thing he wanted to do was catch a glance at her popping out. With his luck, she would wake up to him staring at her like a hungry man being tempted with a feast. There was no good excuse for that, and although he had some fairly graphic fantasies about her, he liked to keep this reputation for being a nice guy as far as women were concerned.

Thankfully for him, she woke up before any of that could happen.

Sitting up and yawning, she surveyed the room.

"Ah, Shuuhei," she said as she finished her yawn. "What are you doing here?"

"Hinamori made me come here instead of work alone in my office."

"That sounds about right, but why did she leave if she's the one that asked you here? " she said stretching one last time before getting up. Shuuhei just replied with a shrug. She looked over at the desk to the pile of papers that Hitsugaya had been working on; then over her own pile on the table that Shuuhei was at. It was too much to think about, and paperwork was the last thing she wanted to do. "If everyone gets to leave, I don't see why I should stay here," she said, turning to walk out the door. "Are you coming?" she asked when she noticed Shuuhei return to his paperwork.

He tried to suppress the grin he felt creeping up inside and just replied with a simple ah. He followed her out of the office. "I think it's a good day to sit out and drink some sake."

Since their walk though the Seiretai into the Rukongai, he seemed to be spending more time with her. Shuuhei enjoyed her company. With her, he'd talk about stupid things and tell stupid jokes. She always laughed. Neither of them talked about the people in their life who had recently gone missing, and he figured that's probably why they sought out each other's company. At least, that's why he wanted to be in her company lately.

"Do you ever have a day where you think sitting out and drinking is a bad idea?" he teased.

"Of course not," she quickly dismissed.

They left the office to find it rather gloomy outside. Fall was creeping in at the Seireitai, and there was a distinctive autumn chill in the air. That was compounded with the gloomy, overcast skies that were only growing darker. It was like the ominous tone of Aizen's threat of an all out war had manifest its self in the weather.

He was following just behind her again. At first, he wasn't sure where they were going, but then it seemed obvious that they were going to her place to get the sake.

They escaped the rain by seconds.

"What the hell?" Shuuhei grumbled as he looked out the window. "It didn't look like it was going to do this an hour ago."

"That's the great thing about sake," Matsumoto said holding up a bottle. "It's just as good in the rain."

It felt strange to drink with just her. Sure, they had drank together, but there was always quite a few other people there. Added to that was the fact that he was at her house. Again, he'd been there before, but never alone. The last time he was there, he was trying to save Kira from swallowing his own vomit. Now he sat alone with Rangiku Matsumoto. He'd had all sorts of sordid fantasies about being alone with her in her house. It usually ended with his nose bleeding.

"You know, Shuuhei, there was something I always wondered about you," she said as he refilled her drink. He was expecting the worst. "Why exactly do you have that number tattooed on your face?"

"I think it's pretty obvious. It's the district that I grew up in," he flatly replied.

"That's it? Did you like it that much?"

"It had nothing to do with liking it. The nothern 69th district was known for its gang, and any kid that decides to join gets one. Where you get it depends on what they think of you. The less visible the weaker they think you are. Here," he said pointing at his tattoo, "is the best. If you ever go up there, it's not such an odd thing to see it on some kid's arm or hand."

"You don't really strike me as the gang type," she said, putting down her drink. "I mean, it's a little hard for people who know you to imagine."

"I was a shitty kid," He could see by the look on her face that she didn't expect him to call himself shitty. "I knew that I had a lot spiritual power even when I was a kid, and I let that get to me." He stopped and looked at his glass. "I guess sometimes you have to spend more time trying to make up for what shitty things you did in the past," he said, taking a drink after he finished.

"Why did you leave?" she asked. He always seemed like the quiet type, so now that he was being so forthcoming, she decided to try to get as much out of him as she could. This was too interesting a subject to just let fall by the waist-side.

He looked over the the buxom blonde at the other end of the table. The past wasn't something that he openly broadcasted to the nearest person. It wasn't a badge of honor for him like it would be for others. He worked so hard already to make up for any perceptions people had from just looking at him. He didn't want to be the thug that people tended to think he was. Then again, this wasn't just anybody. There was a warmth in her sky blue eyes that he wanted to trust. She already knew half of it, why bother hiding the other half?

"I had this friend back then. He was never that tough, but he was the kind of person that you wanted to be around. He always made people laugh. He thought it'd be the coolest thing to be a shinigami, but he knew he'd never make it. He kept trying to get me to go to the academy, going on and on that I shouldn't waste my time in the Rukongai in some petty gang fights. I humored him a few times and took the tests, but I failed on purpose. I was too comfortable where I was. I was actually afraid of going to the academy and being the weakest one there. I was too comfortable being a fish fish in a little pond. Then one day, he was sent on an errand that I didn't know about. I wouldn't have let him go alone had I known about it. He never came back, so," he said letting out a breath. "Here I am, 9th Division Vice-Captain."

"He'd be proud of you," she said cutting the brief silence. He looked at her, a little surprised by her statement. Taking notice of his expression, she quickly switched to a scowl. "You know, I'm starting to get sick of telling you to stop being so hard on yourself."

"Sorry?"

"You don't need to apologize," she quickly dismissed. "Just don't make me have to repeat myself."

"Sure," he replied with a smile. "Thank you, Rangiku-san."

"Don't thank me either, just stop being so hard on yourself."

"Ok, I'll have to remember that."

She went to refill her glass only to find that the bottle was empty. Excusing herself, she got up to get another bottle. He felt his smile fall as she left the room. Without her there, the room felt like it became a bit more dull. In the past, his crush on her mostly extended into fantasies about her figure. Not he didn't admire her in that way anymore, but, in the past weeks, something more had started to develop in his mind. He knew she had a potential to be lazy an moody. There was no trying to deny that. She more than made up for it by the amount of concern that she had shown for him. He kept telling himself that she wasn't being anything more than a friend.

As she reached for another bottle of sake, she couldn't help but think of Shuuhei recalling his past. She knew that there weren't many people to whom Shuuhei had told the story behind his tattoo. Those that did know weren't the type to let the Soul Society know within hours of knowing. He had trusted her enough to let her know. He let her into his life, and that wasn't something that she was used to. She spent so much of her life chasing after her childhood companion. She saw his back far too often. There were too many days that she'd wake up alone, only her shoes in the doorway. She stopped what she was doing and tried to get rid of those thoughts about him.

_He's gone. He left you. _She just had to keep on repeating that to herself as a reminder.

After removing him from her immediate thoughts, she walked back to a waiting Shuuhei. He turned when he heard her enter. She watched as a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. His face seemed to brighten up as he watched. She was more than well aware of what men thought of her. She'd long ago grown accustomed to the whistles and cat calls. She knew what it looked like when a man looked at her with more carnal desires. This wasn't that look. It had been a long time since she'd been the cause of that expression in a man.

She set the sake down on the table, but she did go to sit down. Instead, she stood next to a visibly confused Shuuhei. Placing her hand on his shoulders, she leaned down and kissed him. There was something in that look made her just act. It felt like a valve holding in a rush of steam inside of her was being released. She hadn't had enough to drink to blame it on the drink. She had a high tolerance, and she knew better. It was just that look her gave when she came back from being gone for just minutes had ignited something deep within her.

Shuuhei didn't want to let this moment pass. He knew that this may be entirely one-sided, but he didn't care. If this was the only chance he got, then he would make it so he didn't regret it.

By the time he had gotten up from his seat, everything began to blur together in a rush of desire. Engulfed in an embrace, instinct seemed to take over, and before either had realized, they had made it into her bedroom, his weight sinking in on top of her, bare skin on bare skin.

**_the time and the place, the look on your face, sincerest of eyes.  
if you're ready or not, the state of our hearts, there's no time to take.  
when we started both broken hearted.  
not believing that it could begin and end in one evening._**

---

Shuuhei stirred with a groan. He slowly opened his eyes, hoping to see the person he had in a sweaty embrace as he closed his eyes last night. He looked to each side to see her nowhere in the bed. He sat up, ready to get up and look for her, when he noticed a folded note on the bedside table. Quickly he opened it, eager to see what it said.

_Shuuhei -- You looked too peaceful this morning. I didn't want to wake you. Unohana-taicho would be mad if you didn't get your rest. _

He couldn't help but smile as he read the few sentences, but then noticed a short post-script.

_Please come to the 10th Division office at noon. There's something that I didn't get to say this morning._

Naturally, his smile fell as he read that. That last statement couldn't be good. If she wanted to tell him that she enjoyed herself or even that she loved him, she would have woken him up. You don't wake someone up to give them bad news.

After getting dressed and trying to leave her place without being seen, he went to his division's office to find his 3rd and 4th seats already working. He looked at the clock to notice that it was ten to noon. He didn't realize that he slept so late. Thankful he didn't have to sit around and wait to see her. He left with a vague excuse, headed to the 10th division office, and knocked on the door when he got there.

She opened the door with a big smile. That was when he knew that this wasn't going to end well.

"I'm sorry that I made you wait, but I had to make sure that taicho wouldn't be around," she said walking in, her back to him.

"That's fine. I just woke up less than an hour ago."

"Well, I guess it's good that I let you sleep," she smiled, turning back to him. Her smile quickly fell as she let out a breath. "I just want to be honest with you. I don't want to keep acting like everything is okay any longer, and I don't want to waste your time. I've really liked spending time with you. I wouldn't have looked for your company if I didn't like it. Last night," she said with a smile creeping up on her face, "last night was great. All of it. It's just that my mind kept going back to him. I feel so stupid to keeping thinking of him, but I can't help it. I want to be fair to you, because you don't deserve to be strung along as a replacement." She paused as she looked him him straight in the eye. "I can be your friend, Shuuhei, but I can't be your lover, not now at least. You deserve someone who wants you in her bed because it's you, not because she's trying to fill in the gap in her life."

It was awhile before either one spoke, but he was the one to break the silence.

"If that's how you feel, there's nothing else I can do. Just know that if you ever change your mind, I'll be there, Rangiku," he softly replied.

He turned to leave, but she caught up to him just before he reached the door. She grabbed his arm to turn him toward her. He just stood in front of her with a blank expression. He wasn't ready to play any games with her. He just wanted to leave. She reached up and placed one hand on his right cheek, her thumb making a soft swipe across his scars. Stepping up on her toes, she leaned to his left to give him a soft kiss on the tattoo on his cheek. Just after the brief kiss, lowered to her feet and stepped back from him.

"Thank you, but don't wait for me. You're a great man, and you'll do great things. There are plenty women who see that and won't toy with you like I did. Don't waste you time on someone who still loves a man that never truly loved her back." He could hear her trying to hold back her emotions. "Don't make this any harder than it already is."

"I just wanted you to know how I felt, since you've been honest with me. That offer isn't going to change, Rangiku," he said just before he slipped out the door.

This was one time that she was thankful for all of the captain's meetings that had been going on recently. She walked over to the couch and unceremoniously plopped down. Her hand placed over her mouth, all the emotion she tried to hold back for the past months spilled out. It was everything. Gin leaving. Orihime going missing. Momo's frail apperance and denial of Aizen's betrayl. Her captain's depression over Momo's state. Now, it was breaking the heart of someone already so broken-hearted that she did truly care for.

---

This chapter took much longer than I ever thought. That's mostly because I tend to go on and on about things that I think are important, but then I realize aren't. It's one thing to try to paint the picture and mood, but it's another to just keep rambling on and on. Don't worry, I have about two more chapters left in this. I like some angst, but I do like happy endings. The lyrics in there are from the song "One Evening" by Feist. That song was the inspiration for this fic. If you want to hear it, just look it up on YouTube. There's a (really corny) video.

I'm trying not to ignore the relationship that Gin and Rangiku may have had. I'm not a GinRan fan (He left her!), but I know that there probably was something between them. I'm slowly learning how possessive people are with their pairings in Bleach. Especially the IchiRuki, IchiHime debacle. I just think that either way, you can't play off the relationship you don't like just because you don't like it. I'm probably just too laid back and democratic for ship wars.

Thanks for the reviews. There does need to be more ShuuRan love that needs to be spread. And of course, more reviews are appreciated. I'm not making any promises on when the new chapter will be up, though. I do know where the story is going, but I'm too picky on how it gets there.


	3. Bizarre Love Triangle

**Between the Bars  
Chapter 3 - Bizarre Love Triangle**

Shuuhei sat alone in the 9th Division office. It hadn't been more than a week since his night with Rangiku and morning after break up. That was if he could ever consider that they had a relationship that went beyond platonic, that could be broken. Their one night relationship centered around sex. While she may have wanted to think it was just a release, he knew by the way she acted that it couldn't have been a way to relieve stress. The way her fingers grazed across his skin, the way she nuzzled her face into his neck, and just the way she looked at him made him want to believe that she did feel something for him. Plus if it was just sex, why was it seem so hard for her to just walk away and dismiss everything that happened?

Despite all the analysis, it didn't put him any closer to her. She took one big step in and twenty big steps away from him, and at the moment it was near impossible to just be her friend. After having her so close just once, it was hard to place such a distance between them. In a strange way, he wanted to turn back time to when he mostly fantasized about her figure. It was so much simpler back then.

Thankfully, his thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," he said, setting down his brush and reaching for the tepid tea in front of him.

"Hisagi-kun," Momo said with a worried look on her face. Just what he wanted, the frail girl to be worried about him. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, what makes you think there's something wrong?" he asked plainly.

"Hisagi-kun, please don't act like I don't notice anything," she said with the best scowl she could muster up.

"I'm sorry, Momo," he replied with a guilty look. He couldn't continue to lie to the frail girl. "I don't mean to make you worry about me. That's exactly what I was trying not to do."

"That's ok," she said dropping the serious scowl for a light smile. "I'm sure you've all done your fair share of worrying about me. Why don't you come over to Toushiro-kun's office again? I know it'll only bother him, but he knows that you're a good worker."

"No, I'll be okay here. I don't want to have to move all my papers and then just take over all that space," he said hoping Momo would go for his excuse.

"Then it does have to do Rangiku-san."

Shuuhei immediately turned red. Was he really that easy to read?

Momo did know him a lot better than almost any other shinigami. She was the one that went to save him when he went up against the huge hollow. At first, he resented getting their help because his classmates, his best friends, had died. After losing his best friend in the Rukongai, he just always figured that as a shinigami he'd fight and die alongside them with no regrets. For awhile, he wondered what he'd say if he ran into her. When he finally did on his last day at the academy, he felt silly for his earlier resentment. She seemed so genuinely relieved that he was doing okay, it was nearly impossible for him to continue feeling like he had been. Though, from there, he didn't see much of her. It wasn't until she was promoted to vice captain and having problems trying a command attention from her division.

_You can care for all the members of your division, but you're not there to be their friend. Don't be afraid of being harsh. You want their respect._

He remembered that conversation fondly. He ran into her outside the central office, looking quite down. For some reason, she had decided to vent her frustrations with him. When they both needed to go their own way, he thanked her for saving her all those years ago. Ever since that day, their relationship slowly grew into being very familial. She was like a little sister that he never had growing up. "So, did something happen between you?"

"Well," Shuuhei started, unsure that he wanted to expand on the situation. He'd been in relationships with other shinigami before, and he did go to Momo for a little feminine advice, but he never talked about anything very intimate. For however comfortable he was around her, that did feel like it was stepping over the line. "About a week ago, when you and Hitsugaya-taicho left me in the office with Rangiku sleeping. We were going to go sit outside and drink, but it started raining so we just ended up at her place. We didn't really drink that much. It was mostly just talking. We ended up... in her bed. The next morning, she wasn't in bed, but asked me to meet her at her office, so I went, and she said that she likes me, but she can't be more than my friend."

"But she does like you, right?"

"Yeah, she kept on saying that I deserve someone that loves me and not someone trying to fill the gaps in her life, and I just told her that if she ever changed her mind that I'd be there."

"It's a hard position to be in, and it couldn't have been an easy thing for her to do."

"But I want to help her. She just tries to act so strong and fix my problems, but I can see in eyes how unhappy she is. She won't drop her guard, and that night I thought that if I opened up to her that she'd just let go. It wasn't about getting her in bed, even if that's what happened. She's just helped me face my problems, and I want do the same for her."

Momo looked at her heartbroken friend with a small smile. It wasn't that she was happy to see him so depressed

"Hisagi-kun, just give her time. You can't just force her to get over Ichimaru-tai...san," she corrected herself. "There's a lot of history and emotions in that relationship, and maybe she thinks it's best to be on her own for awhile. You needed someone to put everything in perspective, and she needs someone who can step back so she can be alone for awhile."

"I should never have kissed her back. All this wouldn't have happened if I didn't kiss her back."

"But now she knows that you really do like her, and that you'll be there if she ever needs you."

"What if that never happens?"

"That's a chance that you take with love."

"I can't believe that you're the one giving me advice with my love life," Shuuhei said with a slight laugh.

"Why not? Do you think I've never been in love?" she asked with that struggling scowl.

Then it occurred to Shuuhei: Aizen. Momo loved her captain. She loved that kind man that he pretended to be, and now that he a used her and thrown her side she was left trying to cling to any good that was in him. Her situation wasn't all that different from Rangiku's: an unrequited love leaves the women alone while other people in their lives scramble to try to make up the difference. Neither wanted to be alone, but neither wanted someone there to just nurse their wounds. "Rangiku-san has a point. If she uses you so she can forget about Ichimaru-san, what happens when that does happen? Then she doesn't really need you anymore or she goes back to just being your friend and that's it. Sometimes you need help getting up when you fall, but you don't need someone to carry you. It was easy for you because Tousen-san was just your captain, but it's a little different for Rangiku-san. If someone came in tomorrow and was the captain and did everything that Tousen-san did, would everything you've been feeling just go away?"

She was right, and he hated it. He wanted an excuse to walk into the 10th Division office and sweep Rangiku Matsumoto off her feet to make her forget about the silver-haired fox face. He had to be patient about this. His cards were already on the table, but she was still holding her hand. Momo didn't make everything better, but he knew that he would be okay. He just really hoped that she would come to him when she felt the time was right. Now he really wanted to stay her friend just so she wouldn't forget about him.

"Thank you, Momo," Shuuhei said softly getting up. He walked over to the girl, who looked at him with a smile as he walked over. With a slightly evil grin, he put his hand on her hand and ruffled her hair.

"Mou, Hisagi-kun! Why do you always have to do that? Now I have to re-do the bun," she said, her hands on her messed up hair.

"You're the one who keeps forgetting to put her guard up," he replied with a smile. It was hard for her to stay mad at him when he seemed to be genuinely smiling.

"I'll get you back for this, just you see," she said taking off the fabric covering her bun and she went to leave. "Are you going to stay here and finish your work?" she asked.

"I only have one report to finish, then I was thinking of going to see Kira."

"Ok, that's a good idea. Maybe you can give him tips on how to get his squad to like him," she said as she walked to the door. "Bye Hisagi-kun!"

"Goodbye, Momo."

---

It's kinda funny how some things can change so fast.

Gin is gone. No matter how much he'd turned his back on me in the past, it was never so real as was when I saw him ascend into the sky. He wasn't just escaping my grasp this time. There was such a finality to this. I'm not stupid enough to think that if he just came back, the Soul Society would forgive him; that I would forgive him. Many shinigami have been executed for far less. If somehow he makes it out of the war alive, he won't stay that way for much longer.

I thought about trying to go there. I never made plans or anything. It was more of a passing thought, but it did pop into my head. If I were to chase him, what would he do? He fled so fast without so much as a word until he was leaving. Like always, he apologized when he was caught red-handed. Then as a last comment, he said that he wished I held onto him longer. Had I done that, I would be over there with him now, but would that have changed anything?

When I keep thinking about all this, I wonder why it has been so hard? Why do I still continue to cling him? Why did I care so much in the first place?

He did save my life. While I did feel indebted to him for that, it wasn't just saving my life that made me feel the way that I eventually would. It was taking away all those lonely days. It feels so hard to imagine now that I'm surrounded by people I care about almost constantly. It felt like ages ago that I was alone. All I had to remember then was being alone. There were a few kind strangers that wandered into and out of my life, but no one ever stayed there with me. Then there came this little boy with silver hair who so kindly shared some food with me when all I wanted was for everything, the hunger and the pain, to just go away. He let me stay with him. He gave me a birthday, a day to remember. The day that would mark the end of the loneliness. Even if he'd leave for weeks at a time, every time that he came back, I became happier and happier.

As we grew older, it only felt natural for things to be taken farther. I wanted so bad for him to be my first and my only, so I gave myself to him. It was my way of keeping him with me, but in return came an even messier emotional entanglement along with an awoken physical desire. I wanted to feel his weight on top of me, his fingertips gliding over my skin, the fine layer of sweat that made our bodies slide against each other, and that moment of total rapture when our connected bodies felt like they had exploded into each other. I'd go to sleep with him so close only to wake up with him so far away. Regardless, I kept pulling him back to me, hoping that he physical connection would lead to some deeper emotional breakthrough. While, he did open his eyes and look at me, that's the furthest I got. It felt like such an accomplishment.

I got used to it, and I learned to love him despite all of his irregular emotions. I feel that I can say that because I know that something inside of him did truly care for me. I don't think that he would have continued to spend time with me otherwise.

It's not that I needed him either. His short attention span combined with suddenly being around so many people meant that I could have friends. I could be around other people and not completely depend on him to be the cure for my loneliness. It's at a time like this that I'm thankful to have other people around me. I still miss him, but it's not so hopeless now that he's gone.

It's hard to say without thinking about Shuuhei. In the past, he was the quiet and hardworking vice-captain that also enjoyed going out for a drink. He and Kyoraku-taicho were probably the two best drinking partners. They were fun and they didn't get violent like the sake-loving current and former members of the 11th Division. Beyond the drinking, I didn't really know much about him. He seemed to be very well-liked among not only the members of his division, but any division that worked with his that were subject to his command. He also was also well liked among many of the younger women. I could understand that. Even with the tattoo and the scars, he's an attractive man. He looks a little frayed around the edges, but he wears it very well.

Then I got to know him. I guess you could say that I started to spend time with him because I felt sorry for him. It just felt strange to see him looking so dull and putting such a strain on himself. When he passed out in front of Kira and me, I just felt like he really needed someone to shake him out of his funk. Momo was probably the only other person who could do that, but she wasn't in such a great state herself.

Slowly, I began to spend time with him. As he grew more comfortable with me, he started to open up. He wasn't just a drinking partner anymore. He let me in without much of a thought. He was being everything that I ever wanted Gin to be, so I pulled him closer, as close as I could.

I was being serious when I told him that our night together was great. It became clear to me that he really cared for me. I could feel it in the way that he held me and kissed me. I could see it in his sharp, almond-shaped eyes. I felt it in every moment, every thrust into my body.

That was the problem. I don't know what it's like to be with someone that so openly returns my affection. I'm afraid that I'd just let him fill that hole that Gin left, but beyond that I wouldn't know what to do. I didn't want to do to him what Gin did to me. I'm not Gin. I can't hurt someone else like that. I think that I've hurt him enough already. He still had too much of my heart for me to try to fit another person in there.

Maybe, one day, I can return his affection. Although right now, I don't know when that is.

---

That turned out to be much longer than I thought it would be. I did need to do a little introspection and the pair needed to sit back and think a bit more broad. Plus, I really wanted to write more Momo, Shuuhei interaction. They'd be such a cute brother and sister. I couldn't help myself. I didn't really have Rangiku talking to anyone because I don't know if she's ever open up to someone about how she felt for Gin, which is part of the point of this fic (and pairing in my crazy shipping world).

Again, more song title chapter titles. This time it's named after a New Order song. A good listen if you like new wave.

The next chapter will be the last, and I'm really hoping that I can get it done by the 29th, which is Rangiku's birthday. Thanks for all the reviews. It's good to see that there are other ShuuRan fans that want to read more. Keep them coming, the more that I know that people like what I'm doing the more I want to give them something good. (Should I also hint that I'm not opposed to a mushy WAFF-y epilogue?)


	4. Somewhere Down the Road

I decided to make some major revisions to end for the sake of an epilogue, so enjoy the new ending.

**Between the Bars  
Chapter 4 - Somewhere Down The Road**

_somewhere down the road, I'll see you again, don't know when / and I know you'll be the same / and I know I'll be the same / unchanged  
you free me again / though I'll never be free / of memories / and I know your life will change / and I know my life will change / unchanged_

Even though it was a little over two years ago, it seemed like the Winter War was another lifetime ago. The day to day returned to normal fairly quickly after the death of the three traitors and agreement with the few remaining and more peaceful Espada. The central 46 have yet to be entirely replaced, and they were even still one captain down. The Soul Society was still rebuilding, but with peace came a sense of normalcy.

Shuuhei had been promoted to captain of his beloved 9th Division just months after the fighting. He was happy but apprehensive at the same time. While he had managed to achieve his bankai, he was still not comfortable enough controlling the release to use it in combat. He wasn't like Renji, who was eager to fight with his Hihiou Zabimaru the same day he'd achieved its use. Among the captains, he knew he was probably the weakest, but he tried his best not let that bother him. Rangiku had told him before the war not to be so harsh on himself, and he didn't want to disappoint her.

His relationship with Rangiku had also turned back to normal, whatever that was. It was hard, at first, after she had distanced herself from any romantic connection after their night together. Then he realized that it was silly to avoid her before the war. Either one of them could very well die, so why go away with any regrets? Now, two years later, it was safe to say that they were friends again. Gin's death during the war had paved the way for plenty of drinking sessions. Not wanting history to be repeated, he either just had tea or made sure that they weren't drinking alone. Even if he knew that it wasn't the alcohol that lead to their night together. She slowly seemed to bounce back, and he tried to be there. He did value her friendship. He just wished that they weren't just friends.

He sat in his office going over reports from his squads. Once Kiyone Kotetsu, his vice captain, came back from her meeting, they were to go over to the training ground to aid in the training of a group of shinigami fresh from the academy.

"Hisagi-taicho!" Kiyone yelled as she barged in. The loud high-pitched voice almost made Shuuhei choke on his tea.

"Geez, Kiyone. Don't come in like that. I almost coughed tea out onto the reports," he grumbled. He liked his new vice captain. The one thing that bothered him was at times was that she could be a bit high-strung, and this was certainly one of them.

"That's gonna have to wait," she said quickly walking up to his desk with a very panicked look on her face..

"What's so important?"

"Hisagi-taicho, it's Matsumoto fuku-taicho."

Shuuhei's heart skipped a beat. This couldn't be good. "She went out on a mission in the material world, out in Okinawa. They were ambushed by three Gillian."

"She's not..." he said breathlessly.

"Nee-san just finished healing her as best she could, but it's pretty bad."

Shuuhei didn't need to hear anymore. He took off to the 4th Division as fast as he could, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. When he reached his destination, he tried his best not to rip through the hallways as fast as he could. He made one last turn only to stop in his tracks when he noticed the one figure in the hallway. It was Rangiku, she was trying to get out of her room and down the hall. For what reason, he had no clue. She was quite weak and needed to cling to the walls just to stand. He could only imagine how long she'd been trying to get as far as she had. The only room was at the start of the hall.

"What do you think you're doing?" he said quietly so as not to surprise her too much, but firm enough to let her know he was concerned. She turned to him, letting go of the wall and in turn loosing her balance. With a quick few steps, he caught her.

"I just needed to get out of that room," she said weakly. "I just need to get to the end of the hall to the balcony. I can make it."

"Do you want me to take you there?" he asked as she gripped his captain's haori. She shook her head. "Do you want to go back to your room?" She nodded. He knew that she'd hate it if he tried to pick her up and carry her. He just put an arm around her and let her grip on him as well as the wall keep her balance. They slowly stepped to her room at the end of the hall. Without a wall to grip to, she felt her legs shake. Her body wasn't strong enough the fully support her weight after exerting so much energy to walk down the hall. She used a pause to swing in front him, wrapping her arms around him. With a light squeeze, her body was pressed up against him and her head was on his shoulder. Not exactly sure what to do, he lightly wrapped his arms around her.

She didn't know what possessed her to do it, but Rangiku knew that it felt nice. Although her head wasn't against his chest and rested more on his shoulder, she could hear a faint heartbeat. She inhaled only to smell that familiar scent. Ever since that one night, it was planted in her memory. The scent, the low, soft rhythm of his breath and heart, and the warmth of his body were all extremely relaxing. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the secure feeling.

He didn't know how long they had been in the embrace. It was probably a minute, but it felt like much longer. He had no idea why she embraced him, but he didn't try to brush her aside and lead her back to the bed.

"Shuuhei," she whispered into his shoulder. He listened intently for her to say something else, but it never came. He just responded by slowly and softly stroking her back.

"Matsumoto fuku-taicho, how are you..." It was Unohana-taicho. Shuuhei's instinct was to just step back, but she was relying on him to stay standing. "Thank you for keeping her from trying to escape, Hisagi-taicho," she said with her usual kind smile.

They knew that Unohana wasn't stupid but were glad that she didn't demand an explination. Rangiku eased back from his arms just enough to still use him for balance. He slowly walked her back to the bed and helped her down. He wasn't sure if she wanted him there, but he didn't leave. He stood there next to her bed while Unohana went over her injuries and recovery time. Once Unohana was gone, he only stayed to tell her one thing:

"I'm just happy that you're okay."

---

Shuuhei didn't normally get time away from his division now that he was a captain. When he did manage to get some time off, he tried to get away from all his duty and his squad. He liked Kiyone. She was a great vice-captain, who became just as loyal to him as she was to her former captain, but he just needed some peace a quiet every once and awhile. Right now, however, was not one of those times.

If he was alone he'd think too much about Rangiku and that embrace in the hospital a few days ago.

He sought out Renji, who he had to drag away from his office much to the dismay of Rukia, his vice-captain. Shuuhei never knew how that worked out; Rukia becoming Renji's vice-captain. He really didn't care to know the particulars. What he did know was that it may have outwardly seemed like it only angered Renji, Shuuhei knew that the red-head was probably happier than ever.

He took Renji out to a bar in the Rukongai, even if it was probably not a good idea for the two new captains to go out drinking in the middle of the day. Shuuhei needed to talk to someone about Rangiku, and he wanted to avoid the Seireitai if they were going to talk about that subject. As big as the Seireitai was, rumors and gossip spread fast.

"If you just dragged me out here to drink in the middle of the day to talk about Matsumoto, there's nothing new I can tell you, man. Just be patient. Now let's get out of here. Rukia's going to kill me if I stay any longer," Renji said after gulping down the cup of sake Shuuhei poured him.

"A couple of days ago, when she was at the 4th Division after the Gillian attack, something happened. I caught her trying walk and helped her back to her room. As soon as we got into the room, she hugged me. She wasn't using me to stand, she held onto me. Unohana-taicho came in before anything else could happen, but I don't think Rangiku was going to do anything else."

"So, why did you need to drag me out here for? Just to listen?"

"I dragged you out here because I'm starting to get pissed off and I thought you'd understand." He paused to take a drink and to see if Renji had anything to say. "I can be her friend. I can sit back and wait for her to tell me if she changed her mind, but I can't keep going on if it's going to be like this. I know her enough to know that she'll keep on testing my boundaries to see how far she can take things. I just keep letting her do it," Shuuhei said, staring at his cup.

Renji sighed. He knew of his friend's crush on the curvaceous vice-captain for quite some time and that it had taken a serious turn just before the war. He tried to support Shuuhei the best he could. He knew exactly what it felt like to have to sit back and wait for something that may or may not to come back you. He also knew that those very things don't always just come back to you either. Sometimes you had to work for them.

"Dammit, Shuuhei," Renji said, grabbing the bottle and pouring himself another glass. He chugged the contents of the small cup. "If you say she's testing your boundaries, give her some damn boundaries."

Shuuhei looked at his friend, slightly stunned that Renji was giving him sound advice. He really intented to just talk to Renji about the situation and have a few drinks, and Renji was the last one he expected to give him not just advice but something that made sense. "Stop looking at me like that," Renji said noticing his friend's expression. "Just trust me when I say that sometimes the worst thing you can do is say nothing."

"Thanks," Shuuhei said after a short silence. "You can go back to your precious vice-captain now," he teased. "I think I need some more liquid courage right about now." He poured himself another glass of sake when he finished.

"You sure, man?" Renji asked knowing his friend's history of drinking then trying to hold a serious conversation with a woman.

"I probably need another week before I can go through with it," Shuuhei said shooing him off with a quick hand motion.

Renji had faith in his friend. He knew that despite his rough look, that Shuuhei was quite sensitive when it came to those around him. He really hoped that Shuuhei could pull it off somehow. For all his hard work and humility, he really thought that Shuuhei deserves to not be so lonely. Renji knew first hand what it was like to have that very important person slip away, and it was something that he wouldn't have wished on anyone.

---

Within a week, Rangiku had recovered. With her laid-back attitude and tendency to avoid work, she had actually recovered sooner than predicted. Also given that personality trait, she used it as en excuse to avoid work even after she was deemed able to do it. Tonight, she decided that it would be a good night to sit on the roof of the office, look at the stars, and have a few cups of sake, but only enough so she could still get off the roof and not hurt herself again.

Shuuhei was roaming around the Seireitai looking for Rangiku. Since the incident at the hospital, he'd had little time to sneak away from his office. Half an hour was enough to snag Renji away for a quick drink, but it wasn't enough for him to confront Rangiku. While roaming around, he was reminded that finding her was sometimes like finding a needle in a haystack. He ran into Hitsugaya and not even he knew where she had wandered off to. The last place he thought to look was their office. Knowing her usual aversion to work, he never thought she'd be there after hours.

From the roof, Rangiku was able to see Shuuhei approach the office below. She knew he was looking for her, and she briefly wondered if she should let him know that was above the office and not in it or just let him just keep looking.

"Looking for something, Shuuhei?" she asked as he started to walk away from the empty office. Confused, he starting to look around to see where she was, which only made her laugh. "Look up," she said after finishing her hardy laugh. When he did look up, she noticed that he didn't look too pleased. She just smiled and laughed again as he made a quick leap to join her on the roof.

"Did you know that you can be impossible to find sometimes," he said sitting down next to her. She just shrugged and took another sip of sake. He took a deep breath and relaxed. "That day at the hospital," he paused, "has been on my mind a lot." She opened her mouth to talk, but he quickly continued. "Just let me talk. You've done plenty of talking before, and I just need to get this out. I know that Ichimaru meant a lot to you. I know I can't replace that, and I understand why you made that decision to step away after that night. As much as I hated it, you made the right choice. I got to be your friend and know you outside of the situation with the war, Ichimaru, Tousen, whatever. The past two years have been a lot of fun," he said with a calm, steady tone. "I can't keep on doing it like this. You know that I'm always here for you, but I can't just move on when you get it in your mind that you want to be close and then return to be being friends after that. I just wanted to say that I can be your friend if that's all it is, but I can't be your friend if what happened last week keeps happening. I know you don't mean anything bad by it. If I keep letting it happen, who knows where it will end up. This time it was just a hug, what's after that and then after that?"

"You're right, and I can't guarantee that it won't happen again. Our friendship is more than that. I really value the time I spend with you, and I just–" she trailed off. She hung her head, not sure of exactly what to say. Was she going to lose him as a friend just because of another impulse? He ran and grabbed her to keep her from falling. She just responded to that, to the feeling she had from being so close to him. The worst part was how great it felt. "I understand how you feel. I don't want to stop being your friend just because of that one moment, but I don't regret it. It just leaves me confused."

He looked over to see a Rangiku that he wasn't completely familiar with. This Rangiku was too gloomy. She was missing that carefree spirit that he fell in love with. This time, however, he knew the was the reason for that. The last time that she was like this it was because of Gin, and Shuuhei hated the man for that. He needed to keep telling himself that he needed to set boundaries for his sake as well. If it was supposed to happen it'd happen.

Then it occurred to him, it wasn't just about boundaries. He shouldn't confine something if he it wanted to grow. Maybe her reaching out to him wasn't so simple and in the moment.

"Rangiku," he said softly, moving closer to her. "I'm not good with this kind of stuff. Hell, I asked Renji for advice, which actually wasn't so bad. I just don't think I really did this right."

"What did he tell you?" she asked.

"That you were looking for boundaries, and that if that's the case then I should give you some boundaries. I'm starting to think that maybe I needed to just," he paused to look her in the eyes, "need to do something simpler." They were already sitting close enough for their shoulders to practically be touching. Shuuhei reached out to her, turning her head to face him. As his lips pressed against hers, her grip of the sake bottle loosened, and it slid out of her hand, rolling off the roof. The sensation of being kissed by him wasn't entirely unfamiliar, and she was happy to be experiencing it again. Though before she could react anymore to deepen the kiss, he slowly pulled away. "Maybe, it's time to let things change," he said, her face still in his hand.

She put her hand over his and slowly removed it from her face, but still held it hers. His heart fell into his stomach. In his mind it wasn't a good sign. He put himself out there, and now he was going to be rejected.

"Shuuhei," she whispered, looking away from him. She took a breath and looked back at him. This time, she was the one to raise her hand to his face, her thumb grazing the scars on his cheek. He remembered this from two years ago. She didn't deviate from her pattern and kissed him briefly. "That's not such a bad idea." Shuuhei responded by letting out a dramatic breath. "Did you think I was going to reject you again?" she asked seeming oblivious of his thoughts between kisses.

"You didn't look like you were about to give good news," he grumbled.

"You really need to lighten up," she replied. He smiled and put his arm around her. As she relaxed and leaned into him, she felt a slight confirmation that she was taking the right steps. She liked him, liked him a lot. She wasn't exactly sure what would happen next, but that didn't really bother her. She knew that he'd never be far away, and that's what really mattered to her.

---

I really had to change the end. While I did like it before, I was trying to write the epilogue and realized that starting off a relationship with a ultimatum was a really bad jumping off point. I wanted Shuuhei to make a declaration for her, but and ultimatum was a bit too harsh. So, like I mentioned before, for the sake of a coming epilogue, I changed it. So please, reviews are still appreciated and keep your eyes out for an epilogue.


	5. Give Me Your Love, I'll Give Comfort

**Between the Bars**  
Epilogue - Give Me Your Love, I'll Give You My Comfort

It was a painfully normal night. The temperature was normal. The paperwork was normal. Her captain's attitude was normal. She finished up the last of the reports and went back to her quarters. She didn't want to head straight to bed. She wanted to go to the 9th Division and grab Shuuhei so they could sit out on the roof drinking sake yet again. Unfortunately, he'd been outrageously busy recently. It had probably been two weeks since she last seen him for longer than five minutes. The coupling of his editorial duties at the Communication Bulletin along with a batch of new recruits from the academy had him tied up. She'd long ago exhausted any attempts to divert his attention. Diverting his attention away from his duties was a difficult task, and it was something she both liked and disliked.

She had settled in for the evening, ready to read a few magazines and have some sweets before she headed off to bed. Just as she began to relax and read the horoscopes, she was interrupted by a knock at her door. She answered it to find Kiyone. The first time Kiyone came to her door, part of her panicked thinking something was wrong, but she soon learned that to Kiyone, she was an intermediary between the vice captain and Shuuhei.

"Ano, Matsumoto-san," Kiyone said, obviously a little embarrassed to be going to her captain's girlfriend for advice yet again.

"What did Shuuhei do this time?" she asked, knowing the drill. It was almost always something trivial, but Rangiku humored her anyway.

"Well, Do you know about the five new recruits that Hisagi-taicho had been spending extra time with?" Rangiku nodded. Shuuhei had mentioned his concern with their progress integrating and becoming shinigami when he tried to explain to her why he was so busy. "They were sent out on a mission with 3rd seat Miyake two days ago. It wasn't expected to be a difficult mission but things went wrong, and only one of the five made it back." Rangiku sighed. She knew Shuuhei was probably shutting himself off in his office, trying to occupy himself. "I didn't want to trouble you with it, Matsumoto-san. You know taicho, he tries to act like everything is okay. I've been trying to help him out, but it's just not working. He just sits around reading reports and submissions for the Communication Bulletin."

"Don't worry, Kiyone. It's hard to communicate with him when he's like that. I'll just have to go see him. You just go and get some rest. I know how exhausting he is when he's like that."

Kiyone thanked Rangiku as the older woman went off to the 9th Division office. In minutes she was there, walking in without bothering to knock.

"Kiyone, I told you that..." Shuuhei trailed off seeing that it wasn't Kiyone who just entered. He looked and Rangiku and turned back to reading his paperwork.

"Shuuhei, I know what happened. Kiyone told me." Shuuhei paid no attention to her. She walked up to him sitting on the couch in the center of the office. "You know, I don't really like that you don't let me know about these things. I've been having to hear about most of your problems from Kiyone."

"What's there to know?" he asked with a cool tone rivaling that of Byakuya Kuchiki. Rangiku didn't verbally respond. She just walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She leaned in closer and he could feel the pressure of her breasts on his back and her breath on his neck. He dropped his papers beside him. "It's nothing unusual for a captain to lose some of his squad. It's just a fact of being a captain. I should get used to it," he replied in with the same tone.

"Stop pretending. I know when you're upset. You don't _have_ to tell me anything, but I'm not just going to turn around and leave if you don't."

Shuuhei sighed, covering his face with his hand. He didn't want to make all of his problems her problems. He didn't want to smother her, but, at the same time, he didn't want to alienate her either. He didn't like to think of himself as overly sensitive, but he took his position and the well-being of his squad very seriously. While on the surface he seemed to respond to moments of chaos in a very calm, orderly manner, on the inside his emotions were fighting a bitter battle.

"I told them to trust me. I told them not to worry because I'd make sure this wouldn't happen to them."

"But you can't make promises like that," she said, trying to make her tone not seem like she was nagging him.

"I know, and I feel like an idiot for doing it."

"So you're an idiot," she replied in a non-calant manner. Right about now he was regretting opening his big mouth. "Just learn from this. You'll only be more of an idiot if you keep doing the same thing."

He let out a deep breath, rubbing his face with his hands. Rangiku eased back from behind him and walked around in front of him, standing between his legs. She reached out to him, placing her hands on his shoulders. Feeling the contact, he slid his hands off his face and looked up at her. He could certainly admire the view he currently had, looking up at her like that. With her grasp on his shoulders, she pulled him closer so that he was sitting on the edge of the couch. One of her arms slipped behind him while the other reached up to his head. Pulling him into an embrace opened the flood gates. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer so she was pressing up against him and he nuzzled his head into her stomach, her breasts almost resting on his head. She smiled softly, raking her fingers through his hair. It was quite awhile before either made a move or said a ward. "You look like a spoiled little boy," she said to break the silence.

"I don't care, you're warm," he replied, his deep voice reverberating through her body. She moved her hand from the soft spikes of his hair down to his back.

"Are you feeling better now?" she asked after another long silence.

"Yeah, but," he paused, grabbing her waist to move her back so he could look at her. "Don't leave."

"Don't leave?"

"Stay here tonight, please," he said with a serious, pleading expression. She started at him for a few moments before answered.

"Well, I can't leave you looking that pitiful."

---

Being in an unfamiliar room with unfamiliar light, Rangiku woke up shortly after sunrise. She immediately felt his arm under her neck, his other arm draped over her waist, his body against her back, and his breath lightly in her hair. She smiled, remembering the last time something similar happened in her room, even if the memory wasn't entirely something she wanted to smile about. This time not only were they fully clothed, but she had no intention of leaving before he woke.

She was proud of herself for staying with him. The night before, she had briefly thought about turning down his offer to stay with him for the night. She didn't really think she was ready for that. It seemed like a fairly innocuous request, and he was earnest enough to let her know that it would be just spending the night together. She knew him well enough to know that in his state of mind he would be too distracted to try to use the position to his advantage, but he wasn't that type of person to begin with. Their previous night together was under entirely different circumstances, and she was the one to instigate it in the first place. She knew she wasn't going to do that again. She still wasn't quite ready for that. It wasn't until she crawled into his bed with him in a borrowed sleeping robe of his that was a bit too large that all the anxiety began to fade. This was something she needed to do to move on, and her body was responding accordingly.

Slowly turning over to face him, she tried to think of ways to wake him. She went for the least invasive and pushed his shoulder to move him on his back and proceeded to cuddle up next to him, resting much of her weight on him. It caused a groan from him.

"Are you up?"

"I am now," he grumbled. He opened his eyes and looked over at her face. Naturally, she feigned innocent. He let out a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling before looking back at her. "Thank you for staying...for coming here in the first place."

"It's like I said last night, I could just leave you looking so pitiful. Once Kiyone told me what happened, I knew what to expect. If there's anyone to thank, it'd be her," she replied, laying on her back as well, her head still resting on his shoulder. They stayed in that position for a moment, but Rangiku started to shift. She turned over toward him, placing her hand on his chest. "You know what would be great," she said in with a seductive tone, drawing circles with her index finger on his chest. By now, Shuuhei was a little too intimidated by her flirtations to answer, and instead focused on anything that would prevent him from getting aroused. That was the last thing he needed.

"What?" he finally managed to choke out.

"For you to make us breakfast," she whispered into his ear. "After all, you know that I love your cooking."

There went his exciting fantasy of a sexy morning with Rangiku. In his mind, it never involved making her breakfast. He looked down at her soft smiling face and let out a breath of slight irritation. Just as she couldn't say no to his look earlier, he didn't feel that he could say no to her sweet seduction.

"Wait," she said, stopping him as he briefly sat on the edge of the bed. She crawled over to him. He felt the shift in the bed and turned back to her. She reached up to him, kissing him rather thoroughly. Before he could get used to the soft motions of her tongue in his mouth, she leaned back just slightly. "Okay," she said, "now you can make us some breakfast." Noticing his reluctance and post-kiss stupor, she gave him a playful shove out of bed.

The smile didn't drop from her face once she heard a pan start to sizzle. She really did have that man wrapped around her finger. Not that she liked him solely for that reason, but it certainly made things nice. It was also a complete change from her past relationship. As she dressed, she couldn't help but go over in her mind the feeling of sleeping the night through with him there right next to her without being pawed at but just a mutual desire to be close to the other. She wasn't normally so sentimental, but in the past she'd rarely been able to bask in the afterglow of being wanted in that way. Even if it was something as innocent as sleeping in the same bed.

Now dressed, she walked over to him, still cooking and still in his sleeping robe with a slight case of bed-head, which given his usual hairstyle was quite a feat. Standing behind him, she peered over his shoulder as watched as he was at work folding the omelette.

"You know," she said still peering over his shoulder. "We should do this more often."

"What? Me cook for you?"

"Well, not just that. This whole staying with you for the night thing. We don't always have to be here, but it was… nice to wake up with you right there."

With a smirk unseen to her, Shuuhei turned off the stove and moved the omelette pan off the hot burner. He turned around to face her.

"I guess that'll work," he replied, trying to hide the cheering going on in his mind. "Maybe then it won't be another two weeks before I get to spend some time with you."

She should have known it was going to be that easy with Shuuhei, and she could tell the look on his face he trying very hard to hold back a big cheesy grin. She liked his big cheesy grin, because, unlike the other smile she had known so well, she knew this came from someone when he was truly happy. It was also because she'd seen him at his worst a few years back, and slowly, as they grew closer, she watched him smile more and more. There was something inside of her that was proud to be part of that change. She rose up on her toes to plant a quick kiss in his tattoo, her favorite spot for a quick kiss. She lingered there to whisper something quick.

"You should smile if something makes you happy."

Startled at first, Shuuhei relaxed, and sure enough, the big cheesy grin crept up on his face. She couldn't help but smile back. This was something she could really get used to.

---

Geez, finally, right? I've been sitting on this and sitting on this for quite some time. I wanted some fluff, but not an overwhelming amount. I just wanted a little continuation of the relationship to show just how their dynamic would flow. He's helped by her comfort and advice, while he sort of unknowingly helps her by just wanting so much to be with her and willing to let her comfort him when it's needed.

The title on this one is actually an original, but I don't think I ever rambled about why it's called Between the Bars. It is an Elliott Smith song, but part of me always interpreted the title as being between the bars of music, which separate a full count of notes. It's a beginning and an ending where you end up somewhere new at the start of the next meter. The action takes place between the bars of the two important people in her life (shoot, this is shippy, I'll say loves). It's an odd interpretation, but I think it's quite lovely.

I really want to get something a little more ... saucy up for Valentine's Day. It feels like such a shame that this pairing has nothing M-rated. I've never really finished anything like that, so I'll just have to play it by ear.


End file.
